no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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