stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
50% drunk capacity currently
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
