In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
