i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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