They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
