the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
