I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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