I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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