mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
