the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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