I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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