You really coming over, don't trick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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