Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there was a trapeze. enough said
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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