i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I will pee on everything he values.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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