she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize