i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize