You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
