Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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