Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
