Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
