actually, I'm a sock model
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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