It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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