Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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