grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We just shotgunned beers for America
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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