I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
