Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
