Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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