Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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