Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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