So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
