anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
