if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
