Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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