So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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