My Higher Power is John Stamos
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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