this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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