Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
