..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
