Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
