Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry