Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.