By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!