He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!