Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.