i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
They are going to name an STD after you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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