He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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