Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize