He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
