she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize