I want to walk on stilts...naked
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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