I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
