Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
