I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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