maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
