Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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