direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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