why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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