but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
